Love happens when two people feel passion and excitement together. There is a rush of dopamine and serotonin, making you feel high, your heart beat faster, pupils dilate, you feel less hungry and you want to be with your lover to feel that rush of adrenaline.
When we talk about our innermost thoughts, gaze into each other’s eyes, cuddle, kiss and stroke each other, the “love hormone” oxytocin is released. Oxytocin is also released during orgasm in men and women, during childbirth and when women breastfeed, and all these things lead to a feeling of loving and warmth.
Romantic love and sexual love need friendship as well, in order to last. People want to marry their lover and their best friend. These all need us to work at keeping the feelings of tenderness alive – go on dates, tell your partner you find them sexy, pay compliments often, be kind and respectful to each other – all things easier said than done (!).
It is very easy to take your lover for granted and treat them with a lack of respect, but this will damage any bond- no matter how besotted they may seem with you.
Love will also change with time- this is obvious, as we grow older, change jobs, meet new friends, travel the world, have new experiences, we will change and so will any love we feel. This is something to feel excited about and look forward to, as opposed to be afraid of and fight.
Compassionate love is known as unconditional or care-giving love. This happens when we take care of our partners and they may take care of us, when we are upset, ill or stressed.
This leads to attachment love, where we need the other, and grow old together, looking after each other when we both need Zimmer frames to hobble around.
I hope you have already found this love, hang on to it, cherish it and watch it grow, or that you find this soon, as it is one of the greatest joys in life….